At some point in time in our lives, we must have come across very bad-tempered people. And when I say very bad, I mean very bad-tempered people. Most of the time, they do not have one or two nice words for other people. All they do is shout on you, yell and insult. That definitely makes them the more aggressive. And one thing they are very good at is blaming everyone and everybody for everything that has ever happened to them. As a young person who have been aggressive at some point in time in my life and also a victim of other aggressive people (be it at the local garage struggling for a vehicle, the market place, angry drivers and angry cart-pushers, members of family or even class mates), I have decided to see to the root of the matter.
That is where psychology comes in. Psychology seeks to scientifically study the behavior and mental processes of humans and animals.
Its goals are to describe, how people and other animals behave, to understand (explain) the causes of these behaviors, to predict how people and animals will behave under certain conditions and to control or influence behavior through knowledge and control of its causes. These goals are not only limited to psychology. They are also important goals of our daily life. On a daily basis, we all ask questions as "what's happening?" (Description), "why did she/he do that?" (Understanding or explanation)", "what will happen if I do it this way?" (Prediction), and "what can I do to make sure things turn out the way I want them to?" (Control).
No man is perfect, but we can try by using these goals. Coming back to aggressiveness, life experience have shown me that these people are influenced by the environment they find themselves in, hurt that grows into hatred and genes.
1. Environment - take two identical twins of the same sex and separate them at birth. Give one to a privileged family and the other to an under-privileged family living in an environment whose crime rate is high. Then ten or fifteen years later, bring them together and see their differences. See if they have any similarities apart from their looks. Usually the one from the under-privileged family would be more aggressive than the other.
2. Hatred - hatred which eventually turns to revenge is as a result of disappointment or hurt. The person who is hurt nurtures his hurt instead of healing it and it eventually turns to hatred and revenge. They do not want to accept their hurt, (sometimes their prides are bruised and so it turns to hurt), but instead wants to inflict part or the whole of their pain on people. They never want to see solutions, but more problems when everything could have been amicably solved.
These kinds of people later grow to be more aggressive than before.
3. Genes - although scientists sometimes disagree about the role of evolution in the development of human species, there is no question that our development and behavior are affected by the genetic blueprint with which we are born (Efran and Greene, 2000; Turkheimer and Waldron, 2000). In the African society, people believe that when madness or stealing or lying or any other vice runs in a particular family, then it will be there for ever. But all these can be controlled and even suppressed, and that is where 'control' comes in. After seeing all those reasons the only answer is to control our anger, the way we think and perceive things. Again we come to the four goals of psychology.
Psychology: describe, explain, predict and control your every action in your daily activities. Count up to hundred before you act or if a Muslim invoke the name of Allah and have faith. Smile at people when they show you their rough nature. If you can, try to talk to them and make them see that two wrongs do not make a right. When someone shows that he or she hates you, show the person love and the more you do that his or her heart will soften towards you gradually.
Remember its all about love readers.
Thanks readers till next week and am still waiting for your comments and contributions through my mail or the Point Newspaper's. Stay blessed!
