Commitments...

Friday, June 17, 2011

In our lives, we all commit to something, whether it be work, family, a relationship, adventure, a business venture or faith. If there was no commitment, there would be no achievement, innovation or development. It is a pre-requisite. Most things that do not succeed are probably due to lack of this key ingredient. on the part of the venturer. It’s also something that I find myself thinking of a lot lately and I am not alone in this train of thought.

A commitment is a defined as the act of promising or pledging) or the state of being committed. It is an obligation or an assurance given that requires dedication and staunchness. A responsibility that one should not be indifferent to. This is quite deeply and profound.

Over the years as I have watched various talk shows on cable such as the ‘Ricci Lake Show’, “The Montell Williams Show” and ‘Maury’, most of the episodes are centered around relationships and commitments or the lack of it, with partners, spouses, purported ‘soul mates’ airing their various dirty laundry for all the world to see, some seeking ‘advice’ others retribution or purging. .

Unfortunately the quote ‘reality is stranger than fiction’ is spot on right. Everyday around the earth, similar scenes play out every second. Recently, an acquaintance narrated an incident. Apparently a close friend of hers had been in a ‘committed’ relationship and like most people had felt that the ultimate destination would be the altar and a prophetic ‘I do’. Only it was not to be. There was a change of heart and a broken one. He walked out on her. She grew bitter and holds a grudge, to this day. For her, it was not about the parting but more the fact that he committed himself to her and led her on with promises he had no intention of keeping. Besides, she had dreamed her whole life of getting married and had planned the event in her mind to the last detail.

It is a known fact that for a lot of people especially the fairer of the sex, women, the ultimate achievement is to meet a good partner, marry and settle down. For some though, it is all about the ‘wedding’ rather than ‘marriage’. It is about the bright day, the beautiful dress, flowers, surrounded by loved ones and presents. It is a moment in time. Something old, something, new, something borrowed. That’s the wedding. Then marriage begins, the lifetime commitment.

Commitments are supposed to be sacred not treated lightly as it is done so often today with infidelity, broken promises, separations and ultimately divorce being the norm of the age. Either that or do not commit at all.

In an unrelated but similar incident, a said person experienced chronic disappointment due to an unfulfilled commitment made to her. She had pursued her dreams of being a literary artist and had reached the final stage, publishing. At the last minute, her funding did not go through. Using her own resources to cover the printing cost, she proceeded to publish and sell her novels. She refused to fail or flounce her commitment to achieving her dream just because another party didn’t come through for her. She gave all she had and because it meant the world to her.

This is not the first time incidents of these nature has happened to a person and nor will it be the last for sure. Surely, most or all of us can testify to at one or multiple times being in a similar position, at the receiving end of a failed promise or agreement where the other party defaults and we are left hanging in a loop. And in such situations, the result can either be mild disappointment or cause a lot of distress depending on just how important it was to us. Did you just give in or up?

It seems that some people take the quote ‘promises are meant to be broken’ literally. Apparently quite a few individuals do not take the time to realize the impact of such an act on the other party concerned. A broken promise or commitment can alter a or multiple lives drastically

Whatever happened to a ‘gentlemen’s agreement’, where one’s word was their honour and they would do anything not to loose it? Have we come to a time when we only say things to suit us at that particular time? I refuse to believe that.

So this very moment, commit to commitments. Keep your promises, honour your responsibilities, fulfil your obligations, let your ‘nay’ be ‘nay’ and you ‘yeah’ be ‘yeah’. It builds character.